Rhapsody
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Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Chanteusse" journal:[<< Previous 10 entries]
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05:05 am
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Per, la nostra vita, vivra questo amore, se saremo insieme io e te.
*HUGS*!
give Me more *HUGS*
get hugs too!
Arena (known to self and others) accepting, cheerful, friendly, sentimental, spontaneous, trustworthy | Blind Spot (known only to others) able, adaptable, brave, calm, caring, clever, complex, confident, dependable, dignified, energetic, extroverted, happy, helpful, idealistic, independent, intelligent, kind, knowledgeable, logical, loving, mature, modest, observant, organised, patient, powerful, proud, quiet, reflective, relaxed, religious, responsive, self-assertive, self-conscious, sensible, shy, silly, sympathetic, warm, witty | Façade (known only to self) | Unknown (known to nobody) bold, giving, ingenious, introverted, nervous, searching, tense, wise | Dominant Traits52% of people agree that erickajane is cheerful
61% of people agree that erickajane is friendly
All Percentagesable (5%) accepting (13%) adaptable (5%) bold (0%) brave (5%) calm (2%) caring (5%) cheerful (52%) clever (11%) complex (2%) confident (19%) dependable (2%) dignified (11%) energetic (5%) extroverted (2%) friendly (61%) giving (0%) happy (19%) helpful (8%) idealistic (13%) independent (11%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (25%) introverted (0%) kind (16%) knowledgeable (13%) logical (8%) loving (19%) mature (8%) modest (13%) nervous (0%) observant (5%) organised (2%) patient (2%) powerful (2%) proud (8%) quiet (2%) reflective (2%) relaxed (5%) religious (2%) responsive (8%) searching (0%) self-assertive (5%) self-conscious (11%) sensible (30%) sentimental (11%) shy (11%) silly (2%) spontaneous (11%) sympathetic (5%) tense (0%) trustworthy (30%) warm (22%) wise (0%) witty (8%)
Links:
lj users:
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1) ulop (Christine)
sigarilyo (Rachel)
ispeakstuff2 (Manny)
apokam (Mica)
bottled_ether (Joan)
leslie79(Leslie)
tintin08 (Tintin)
bettymae (Beth)
deathrose69 (Danielle Baccud)
(Rj)
non-lj users:
Ate Nahnah
Ate Kit
Kuya Aron
Ate Dani
Kuya Jerjer
Ate Meng
Anna Gee
Joby
Pristine
Kylie
Carmela
Cha-cha
Kayla
Cheslyn
Gerald
Anna C.
Shobe
Michelle
Andrew
Kwami
Rejoice
Nadine
Armie
Ate Imma
Xientian Forum - Quezon City Science High School's Forum
to be updated next time...
+++Once again you disturb me in my sleep, haunting me in the place I once felt safe. You're slowly and unknowingly leading me to a place I do not know. A place they call insanity. I wish someone could save me from it... But I'm afraid that someone can only be you.+++
*Credits:
cyndischick.com for the picture used in the intro.
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11:03 pm
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An unfinished Post
There are infinitely many different ways to do things. We need only to know several different ways and decide which ones suit us the best.
Life's like that. You can't go living your life according to someone else. Set your own standards. So that in the end, you'd be able to say that you lived your life as best as you know how. and if you had a mediocre or miserable life, you wouldn't blame anyone else, nor would you regret any of it.
It doesn't matter if your life wasn't perfect. Perfection doesn't mean happiness or contentment. We only find these if we know where to look. Even through imperfection. Change is also a must. A stagnant life is a mediocre life. Only when we have gone through changes and adaptations would we be able to say that we have indeed, lived.
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12:06 am
[Link] | I've been writing in my own little notebook for some time now. I've been writing pockets of thoughts which I'd want to remember or would like to ponder upon some more.
It surprised me how continuous my thoughts could be when I'm in the process of writing as opposed to typing where I think I pay more attention to how I say things and how it looks like on the page as opposed to focusing on what I'm saying. There's also some sort of audience in mind when I write online which is weird because I know for a fact that readership is not a major actor in my blog/lj. XP
There's something about the difference in the process of long hand writing and typing on the laptop that fascinates me. Actually, there's something fascinating about the difference in general between technologically-aided processes vs. the "old fashioned" processes. For example, searching in the library using the catalogue cards as opposed to OPAC. Or researching through reading books as opposed to googling.
There is, definitely, something lost with the advancement, but that's not to say that this advancement isn't welcome. I just fear that the younger generations would lose sight of the value of life without the net or any other gadgets. Of nature.
For some reason ang bilis kong tamaring magsulat on line ngayon. XP
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11:01 am
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Some things I learned
A subject of beauty is anything that resonates with personal meaning.
That day, we spent the whole two hours talking. He was careful to tell me that all he wanted to teach me that day was to always, always, ALWAYS have an open mind. As an artist, I have to always see what is essential. And what is essential is that there is beauty in everything and in everyone. This reminds me of Gusteau's (from Ratatouille) philosophy that "Anyone can cook."
In singing, that is translated to "anyone can sing." We just have to respect the individual vocal quality of each person. We can't sing and try to sound like someone else because that's like disrespecting ourselves. We have to respect what nature (or God, if you like) gave us. To sing beautifully is to sing naturally, and to sing naturally is to not morph our sound to sound just like whoever else that we think sounds beautiful or whom we idolize.
In the same way, we Filipinos can't try to sound like the Europeans without it taking a toll on our body and eventually destroying our voices. Because we have different roots and different physical structure, the big sound that is natural for them may not be natural for us who typically have smaller frames. Any time we go against what is natural for us, we hurt ourselves and in the long run, we destroy what was given to us.
A ripe fruit (of its time) was considered beautiful, whereas a young woman trying to appear older or an older woman trying to appear younger would not be considered beautiful.
The point is, we have to respect the natural beauty that is present in each and everyone of us. It may not be a beauty that we are used to or it may not be an apparent beauty that we can readily see. But that does not mean there isn't beauty at all. Perhaps, because of the many influences we've had and our personal preferences, we can't readily see it, but that shouldn't keep us from recognizing that there IS beauty in everyone.
The same can be said for the different types of music. No style is superior over another. Just like language, where we linguists (haha linguist daw? :P) believe that no language is superior over another, music is the same. They may have different characteristics but just because one is more complex than the other, or because one is spoken or used more than the other, doesn't make a language or a type of music more superior. Of course this is difficult to believe as it's natural for one to believe that the kind of music s/he makes is the best of all. But we go back again to the belief that, as an artist, one should recognize the beauty in everything.
In the end, what is essential is to recognize the beauty within oneself, as well as the beauty that others possess. After all, in recognizing this essential quality, we would get what is otherwise so difficult to take a hold of: inspiration. And in getting inspiration from all things and all people, we are, in turn, able to make good and beautiful art which, in turn, will be able to inspire other people.
It's all positive, yes? Now I just hope I won't get swept by the tides. I don't want to end up alienating myself and other people. The point is to let other people experience this otherwise elitist art. How would we do that if we keep alienating them?
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09:47 am
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On walls and online persona
Perhaps Facebook has aptly called the pages "walls" simply because what one sees is simply that: a wall. A wall that does not necessarily reflect the personality of an individual.
My own wall is a product of a filter. What people see are only what I let them see. Many a time, I post and comment as if I were a happy camper but outside the virtual realm is a different person. There are but a few places where I really let lose.
Granted that there are people who are exactly how they appear on their walls, many a time, other people use their walls to create an ideal personality. Thus creating what is known as an online persona.
In a way, these walls do sort of reflect real life. There are some who show just certain aspects of themselves to most people, and an entirely different one when it comes to people who are much closer to them. You really can't judge a person until you've known them personally through a bit of time.
Sometimes, I judge people based on the single encounter I've had, and yes, I know that's wrong but hey, I'm always willing to give people second and third chances. And when I do talk about the person behind their backs, it's to ask another person whether I'm missing something or if I'm taking things all wrong. It's not as if I talk about the person just to spread rumors about him/her. and I only talk to people whom I know aren't the kind of people who make chismis. and I make sure that that person isn't someone they know so no further judgements can be made.
Wala lang. Just saying.
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03:21 am
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2 years and 6 months
That's how long it's been since my last haircut and rebond.
Then last Friday, Sept.24, 2010 after about 12 inches (15inches tops) and 30 minutes of snipping, my hair is back to its all-natural curls!
It took me about a year to actually go through getting a hair cut. That's about 2 frustrated-hair-years and finuhlaaaayyy I managed to get some courage to have a major haircuuuut!
And now I'm all about trying an (almost) all-natural hair routine! Just tonight, I started a no-poo hair remedy and shall be using Apple Cider Vinegar as a shampoo substitute and mixing in honey with my conditioner. :) I'm excited. I know I'll have to put up with frizzy hair for the next two weeks but if the remedy works out, the silken soft curls will be worth it I'm sure!
Jeez. talk about some major decisions huh? Now I think I'm kinda missing my loooooong hair. But I'm still too happy with my curls to miss it too much.
This just goes to show how careful I am when making life-changing decisions. hahaha! Well, goodbye rebond and hello curlzz!!! I missed my soft curlz!
I promise I shall take good care of you from now on. I may have to iron you once in a while when I feel like it but I swear I'm never gonna "permanently" iron you out!
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03:02 am
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Where's the Drama?
I'm 21. Shit! I'm actually 21 years old!
Where have the years gone? I wasn't ready to be 21!!!!! Shiz. Okay starting from now I'll be what I pictured myself to be: the girl (lady?) who's out to save the world in high heels.
...
Mehehehehehehe. As if. Nah. It's just 3am and I am going crazy with all the introspection I've been doing lately. Teacher's right. It's more dangerous when you're alone. You tend to think and over-analyze stuff and you end up even more confused than you already were. And with my tendency to philosophize things, who knows where I'd end up--the asylum? gah.
Sometimes I wonder if I may be a teeny tiny bit bipolar? Or maybe I'm just over thinking things again.
Oh God. I half think my life is monotonous and I half think I couldn't stand any more drama. Whenever I start getting angry at the world, I stop and berate myself for even starting to think that I must have the worst life EVER. Duh. Hello teen angst. This is where writing is supposed to come in... but it doesn't. XP
Ugh. I used to like writing. Now I don't believe in myself as a writer. I don't like the language nor the tone I use. It all seems bland. It's as if all I could write are technical papers and though it's useful, I think it's made my style dry. wah. (cue: Drama)
So I need drama. Which I have, by the way. Only... I can't seem to write about it because it's still too near to me.
Ugh. sometimes I wish I don't write so properly. This tendency to make things as perfect as I could, just isn't doing my writing any good!
Gaaaaaaaah. It's blaaaaand. It's BLAAAAAAAAAAAND~!
Can someone sweep me off my feet for a little while please? Just so I could get this blood pumpin' again. ~_~
Zzzzzz.
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09:08 pm
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Final
Well, there you have it. A week of mourning has passed, and still I can feel the void that used to be a bursting sunshine of positive energy that was Kuya Cholo. I didn't even know he was that important to me as a source of inspiration and positive energy until he was gone. At least today I didn't cry like I did last Sunday.
I won't make this note long. Kuya Cholo didn't want people to mourn for him. And so I leave you with a quote from him
"When you are faced with harsh realities of death, don't ask the Lord to make time stop, instead, ask the Lord to make each of your remaining days count. Live!" - Cholo C. Gino
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12:48 am
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Kumukulo ang Dugo
UGH. Naiinis na 'ko sa'yo okay?! Ang hirap-hirap mong kausapin. Ang bilis-bilis mong mag-agree kahit di mo naman pala naintindihan kung ano yung sinasabi sa'yo. Ang bilis-bilis mong magconclude kahit hindi mo naman pala talaga na-understand kung ano yung mga terms na ginagamit.
Kung makapagsalita ka akala mo kung sino kang magaling. Gamit ka nang gamit ng mga terms na hindi mo naman pala lubos na naintindihan kung ano ang ibig sabihin! Pwede ba, hindi masayang makipagusap sa isang taong hindi mo makaintindihan at ang taong palagi na lang nagmamarunong.
Noong una, concerned ako sayo dahil naisip kong hindi ko gusto na lalo ka lang masira dahil sa kaugalian mong yan. Pero bakit kahit anong pag-explain ko sayo hindi mo naiintindihan?? Oo ka nang oo pero hindi mo naman na-gegets! Nakakalungkot isipin na forever kang magkakaron ng communication barrier sa mga tao dahil ganyan ka magisip.
Hindi ako natutuwa sa ugali mong pag-p-please sa mga tao. Sa tingin mo ba 'yon ang gawain ng TRUE FRIEND?? Dati, sabi mo sa akin, naghahanap ka lang naman ng true friends. Pero paano mo gagawin yun kung mismong ikaw hindi ka naman nagpapakatotoo sa sarili mo at lalo na sa ibang tao? Hindi ko naman sinasabi na maging pranka ka at sabihin mo kung ano yung tingin mo talaga palagi. Ang ibig sabihin ko lang naman ay dapat marunong kang mag-judge at ibigay mo ang pangangailangan ng tao--hindi yung kung ano lang sa tingin mo ang gusto nilang marinig.
Sa totoo lang napupurga na ako sa'yo eh. Sinusubukan ko namang turuan ka at ipakita sayo ang kung ano ang dapat pero masyado kang dense eh. Hindi mo nakikita ang mga importanteng bagay. Masyado kang makamundo. Kaya paminsan hindi ko na rin mapigilan na tarayan ka eh.
Nakakapikon ka na.
(Tingin ko hindi mo rin ito maiintindihan o iba ang magiging pagintindi mo kung mabasa mo ito. :| Kung ma-gets mo man na ikaw ang tinutukoy ko rito, o kung curious ka kung sino itong tinutukoy ko, WAG MO NANG SUBUKANG ITANONG SA AKIN KUNG AYAW MONG MARANASAN ANG ERICKA JANE NA KUMUKULO ANG DUGO)
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02:56 am
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"With"
Almost everyone I know seems to be in love, are in love and want to be in love with someone. And that "with" functions as a preposition used to indicate combination as in "both A & B are in love with each other."
You know what I wish for? it's the feeling of being in love. It's been years since I was last smitten with anyone (was I ever? haha) and I still remember how it felt. It brought me such happiness that almost made my heart burst and such pain that made every breath a jagged saw ripping through my heart. Perhaps it was infatuation. But those were feelings nonetheless. And what I would give to experience that again.
That person doesn't necessarily have to love me back. To experience having these intense feelings would be enough. Enough to make me feel so much more alive.
I have fallen in love. But even then, that isn't enough. I want to be in love with everything, with every person, with every being--I want to fall in love with Life.
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